Cabby Story - as Told to Me

Pic by David Iliff is of a black cab in London.


Scene: Taxi rank at the railway station. Elderly woman approaches the first taxi in line and speaks to the driver. She is followed by a man who stands and waits behind her.

Woman: Could you pick me up at a quarter to eight tomorrow morning.

Cabby: Where do you want to go?

Woman (haughtily): That’s my business.

Cabby: If that’s the case then, Madam. I can’t help you.

Woman (taken aback): What do you mean; you can't help me?

Cabby: Well the thing is, I have to be at Mesley (village 10 minutes drive away) by ten past eight to take a regular customer to work.

Woman: Oh. Right. Well I just need to get to the National Express stop.

Cabby: Would that be the one opposite the newsagents in Station Road?

Woman: That’s right.

Cabby: In that case, I can take you. Where do want picking up?

Woman: Mayflower House.

Cabby: And where’s that, then?

Woman: You mean you’re a taxi driver and you don’t know. It’s been there for over 400 years.

Cabby (who’s been driving the area for just 12 years): Sorry, I don’t think I have picked up from a Mayflower House.

Woman: It’s next to the MOT garage.

Cabby: Which one? Exmarsh? (There are about 4 MOT garages in this small town.)

Woman: (exasperated) No. No. Queen Street. By the old post office.

Cabby: Ah. I know that old post office. (It was the second one in the town to close.)

Woman: That’s Mayflower House.

Cabby: Well I never.

Woman: You will be there at quarter to eight?

Cabby: Yes I’ll pick you up there at 7.45 tomorrow morning.

Woman walks off.

Cabby (to male passenger standing and patiently waiting): Sorry about that sir. It’s quite painful sometimes trying to get the information I need. If she’d said the old post office in Queen Street, I’d have known right away. Now, where did you want to go sir?